There is certainly a need for such a challenge. In a recent study, 54 percent of men and 42 percent of women were dissatisfied with the amount of sex they were currently having. I was open to the possibility that the show could help couples. Particularly, those that find themselves channel surfing later in the evening — when in reality, they would have a better sex life (and marriage) if they simply turned off technology and shared intimate time together.

Each episode of 7 Days of Sex follows two couples who agree to have sex every day for a week to see if this sex experiment can mend a broken relationship. The series premiere followed Lauryn and Brown who have been married for three years, and had exciting sex when they first met. Now, they’re raising three kids and finding it difficult to be intimate together. Overall, they’re neglecting each other’s needs on many levels. The second couple, Anna and Anthony, have been married for seven years, and once had an erotic sex life. They’re considering starting a family, are dealing with financial strains, and need to resolve his controlling tendencies and her dismissive ways which start when she’s feeling disconnected.

As a sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, I think that seven days of sex can be a great strategy for couples who want to have more sex, but are consumed by all the daily “to-do’s.” And, I would say it can make a positive change (although maybe temporarily) for couples who are stuck in a rut. But having served as an expert for an upcoming reality show, I know there’s an unbelievable amount of footage that ends up on the cutting room floor, that reality shows need to create a certain amount of hype, that they have to keep us entertained above all, and that they rely on a positive outcome in order to maintain the fairy-tale, quick-fix premise.

With only a narrator, rather than a sex expert’s perspective, 7 Days is a cross between Blind Date(remember that fun train-wreck of a reality show) and a national geographic special (observing couples in their natural “habitat” whether they are doing things around the house, or summing up their intimate encounter after-the-fact). While the first episode just aired, the formula will likely continue to be a self-help, trial-and-error, band-aid approach, rather than giving the couples tools to sustain a viable, healthy connection.

The common thread for the couples on the show is the same as those for most of the couples I work with: the need for better communication, increased intimacy on many levels including emotional and physical, and a desire to become more sexually confident and empowered. Overall, they need to talk—whether it’s openly addressing sexuality, how they feel about themselves, how they feel about sex, and what it takes to get it on in a healthy, connected, pleasurable way. Couples have to willingly want to do something different to make their life and relationship different.

On 7 Days, the frequency of sex surely increases 100 percent, as the check mark is drawn on the Monday-Sunday chart displayed across our TV screens with a ding for each day. There’s no doubt this can be a change agent with all the laughter, fun, and excitement outweighing the negative attitudes and interactions of the two couples, but this is probably temporary. At the end of the hour, the couples seem to realize what it takes to be connected — they want to feel loved, understood, respected, appreciated, complimented, desired, and more.

But while I think 7 Days of Sex is fun, it lacks three main components that could help these couples (and viewers) get to the eighth day and beyond: An expert coaching the couple to clearly identify their core issues that will resurface, guidance on refining the tools necessary for relationship success, and a process of redrawing the blueprint to make for a solid foundation going forward.

Dr. Leonard DeRogatis, director of Sexual Medicine at Johns Hopkins University, emphasized a major difference between men and women. He says men have the desire, but as they age can’t be aroused. Still they’re the lucky sex. Erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs solve their problem in most cases by increasing blood flow to you know what..

Women are less fortunate. Some suffer from what’s called the “hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).” In effect, sex may never have been high on their list of priorities. So would ED drugs help to start sexual desire for women too?

In one study 202 women were given Viagra. As expected, it increased blood flow to the genitals, improved sexual satisfaction for some women who had arousal problems, and provided the stimulus to engage in sex. But it had no effect on those who suffered from HSDD.

So as has been pointed out many times there’s a major difference between men and women. For men all that’s needed is an engorged organ for a happy bedroom. Their brains are almost always primed for sex. But for women, ED drugs will not turn those who have HSDD into raving sexual maniacs.

Is there anything that will do it? Many experts believe the male hormone testosterone will also govern a woman’s sexual desire. At 50 years of age women produce 50% less testosterone than those in their 20s. That’s one reason why sexual desire gradually diminishes. Boosting testosterone levels, they say, will also boost their libido.

Does it work? The International Journal of Impotence Research analyzed 12 studies and concluded it does help. The North American Menopausal Society reached the same conclusion and endorsed its use.

But getting testosterone is easier said than done in this country. Like the controversy surrounding the use of estrogen for menopause, there is an underlying worry that testosterone might increase the risk of breast cancer. But according to Dr. Jerald Bain, a prominent Toronto endocrinologist, some doctors are using small amounts of testosterone to treat sexual problems in women.

DeRogatis believes it’s unlikely testosterone would increase the risk of breast cancer and that the greater possibility is growth of facial hair and transient acne. This can occur if too much testosterone is prescribed.

Non-hormonal treatments are also available. For instance, Wellbutrin has been available for many years to treat depressed patients. But it has also been shown to increase sexual desire in women who are not depressed.

But for women there’s more to sex than hormones. You can’t have a happy bedroom if there’s discontent in a marriage, financial problems, lack of communication or no love.

A woman recently said to me, “I’m bored with my husband and wish I’d never married him.” It would take the coming of the Messiah to solve this problem.

Not all sexual problems confronting women are in the head. All too often the reason postmenopausal women shy away from sex is medical. But it’s missed by doctors who neglect the pelvic examination.

Over six years, Terrie says she had yearlong affairs with six men, often securing the next before letting go of the one before. “I was just possessed, I guess, with this drive to keep having that giddy vibe,” said Terrie, now 46 and living in Memphis, Tenn., who asked that her last name not be published.

Terrie is among a growing number of Americans seeking treatment for sex addiction, an unofficial diagnosis that nonetheless gets bandied about every time celebrities or politicians are caught with their pants down. The number of sex addiction therapists certified by the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals worldwide has risen from about 400 to 1,100 in the past five years, said IITAP Vice President Tami VerHelst.

Sex addiction refers to an inability to stop sexual behavior even as it damages one’s life. Terrie says that even when her life crumbled — she got involved with an 18-year-old student (it didn’t get physical until after he graduated), her husband found out, she quit her job, she tried to kill herself by crashing her car into a tree — she continued sneaking around, miserable about leading a double life but “unable to not do it.”

As the American Psychiatric Association prepares to publish the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, its standard for classifying mental illnesses, debate flares anew about whether compulsive sexual behavior is a disorder in itself, a symptom of other psychological problems or merely the fruit of poor decision-making.

A proposed mental condition termed “hypersexual disorder” is being considered for inclusion in the appendix of the DSM-V, due for publication in May 2013. Its placement in the appendix would indicate hypersexual disorder is a phenomenon worthy of scientific interest but in need of more research before being considered an official diagnosis.

“I think (in the appendix) is where it belongs because we do need more study,” said clinical psychologist Rory Reid, the independent principle investigator of the field trial to test the proposed diagnostic criteria. Reid opposes the term “addiction,” which he says is overused for anything pleasurable, and believes the label lacks empirical evidence from neuroimaging, genetics, or studies assessing patterns of tolerance or withdrawal.

Simpson also revealed her nude pose on the cover of the new Elle magazine was all her idea. The Irresistible singer, who is about to give birth to her first child, stripped off for the style mag and admits she didn’t need any persuading to disrobe for the camera.

She tells Seacrest, “They didn’t even ask me to do that… It was my idea. It kind of just seemed like a natural thing for me to do.

“What’s funny is I’m, like, 170 pounds and I wanted to pose nude. Normally, I try to be 110 pounds… I just love my body more than ever right now.”

And she admits the revealing shoot was extremely comfortable: “It was just Eric (Johnson), my fiance, and a couple of my friends.”

Apparently there is insufficient research to answer definitively, but a few theories abound.

One – women are noisy during sex because they feel it will heighten male sexual arousal.

But don’t go thinking this is a sign sound-sharers are carers; Herbenick writes these hussies could simply be hurrying-up their love-honey’s ejaculatory explosion, so ending sex and saving time (time better spent watching Desperate Housewives most likely).

Two – women are noisy during sex because they can’t help it.

Screams, sighs, moans, gurgles – they can just sort of come out.

Well, we all know all manner of stuff just sort of comes out during sex – from liquids to “I love you” – and none of it should be taken seriously.

Three – women are noisy during sex because they are faking an orgasm. It hurts my heart to write that (faking hurts the faker most!), but believing so much is hardly hard.

Dopamine is the brain’s pleasure chemical. It plays a role in gambling, drug use, and, well, love. When we fall in love, dopamine is released, making couples feel elated and energetic about each other.

“That someone takes on special meaning to you and you focus on this individual because the dopamine system has been activated,” says Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist. “It is what triggers very goal oriented behavior, where no one else matters but your new partner.”

Dopamine can be present in both early-stage and long-term romantic love, she says.
“O” is for oxytocin

Oxytocin is a chemical that calms and bonds couples together by promoting intimacy. “It is what hugging, kissing and touching are made of,” says Fisher, a visiting research associate at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ.

Oxytocin levels also rise in new moms, promoting milk production and bonding with babies.
So, if you feel the urge for a stay-at-home movie night to cuddle with your beau, it may be oxytocin at work.

The major histocompatibility complex (MHC) is a set of genes that controls cell-surface molecules, which the body uses to tell self from foreign invaders.

Our bodies exude MHC levels through sweat and body odor, as well as saliva. There are a wide variety of MHC types, but they tend to more closely match in people who are related.

Based on scent and taste, studies suggest we can pick up on MHC levels in other people, and it’s thought that the more you differ in MHC, the stronger the attraction.
Follow your nose

The saying is usually love at first sight, but your nose plays a part too. Pheromones, which are chemical messengers, are theorized—but not proven—to play a part in human sexual attraction.

Fisher says she isn’t a fan of the pheromone theory, but believes smell is a part of love.
“Once you fall for someone, their smell can be a powerful thing,” says Fisher. “Women will wear their boyfriends T-shirts and throughout tales in history men have held on to their lover’s handkerchief.”

Although Buddhists are Thailand’s majority population, Valentine’s Day is one of the most popular festivals that is widely celebrated by numerous lovers, especially youngsters. Among them, a considerable number of juveniles planned to have sexual activities or first sexual experience which triggered widespread anxiety among parents and related agencies.

According to a survey conducted by the University of the Thai Chamber of Commerce (UTCC), 15.2 percent of respondents said they planned on sexual activities while 20.6 percent were uncertain. Some 54.9 percent of the surveyed were university students while 27.8 percent school students and only 17.3 percent working age.

This reflected the attitude towards sexual relations which has been dramatically changed in Thai society in which premarital and adolescent sexes were considered unacceptable in the past. However, the world has changed, so have Thai traditional practices and values. Sexual relations have unavoidably become personal rights. But the rights should come with greater responsibility for individual family and the society as a whole.

The most common and severe problem resulted from irresponsible sexual behavior found most in teens is the spread of HIV and AIDs. Bangkok Metropolitan Administration (BMA) revealed last week that the number of population living with HIV and AIDs nationwide has accumulated to some 481,770 and about 10,097 of these caught the virus in 2011. In another word, 28 new faces are being infected with HIV everyday. In Bangkok only, there are approximately 55,525 AIDs patients, said BMA.

“Love, arguably the most positive of all human emotions, also comes with a dark side,” study researcher Jon Maner, a psychologist at Florida State University, said.

In a trio of studies involving 130 people in long-term relationships, Maner and his colleagues found that to protect their own commitment to their partner, people would lash out at potential threats.

In the first study, researchers asked students at Florida State University in long-term relationships to write about either a time when they felt intense love for their partner or a time when they felt intense sexual desire for the person – both positive relationship-related experiences.

Next, the students looked at pictures of either an attractive or an unattractive man or woman, followed by a picture of a Chinese character.

They were then asked to rate the appeal of the character; since the Chinese character is neutral, this question was meant to gauge the participants’ leftover feelings about the real target of the study – the pictures of the men and women.

The students also filled out questionnaires about their basic levels of jealousy, answering questions such as, “How likely are you to surprise-visit your partner to see who is with him/her?”

The results showed that jealous sorts and more laid-back types rated the characters as about equally attractive when they’d thought of intense sexual desire for their partner.

But when they thought about intense love for their partner, the jealous sorts suddenly became very negative about other attractive people, rating them much less appealing.

In a second study, the researchers upped the ante. They again had people in long-term relationships reflect on their love or sexual desire for their romantic partner, or some other non-relationship-related story.

But this time, the participants were told they were going to play a computer game with a partner in another room. Whoever lost got blasted with painful, but ultimately not harmful, bursts of white noise through headphones.

For one thing, love addicts are lying and manipulative, too. Take me, for example. I’m the kind of woman who would show up on the doorstep of some unfortunate one-night stand, two weeks later, with a suitcase and my dog in tow. I managed to do this across state lines, knowing only the guy’s first name and a musical preference. The denial mechanism that made it seem like a good idea must have been gargantuan; undoubtedly, I told the best lies to myself.

“I’m not looking for a relationship; casual is fine with me” is as common a whopper as “My wife and I are separated,” “I had a vasectomy” and “I promise I won’t …” well, you know the rest of that one.

 At the same time, I’m the kind of woman whose number hits three figures, because after a while being the victim gets really old. A girl just needs to go out and conquer something: The love addict flips and becomes the sex addict. Or you use sex as a coin to buy affection, assuming that if someone becomes your lover, there must be love involved. Or you discover that once you start making out with someone, it triggers a craving that isn’t going to be satisfied until you’re in that person’s bed.

Hang on. I’m remembering some favorite beds. After all, if there wasn’t something fun about acting out — whether it’s sleeping around or slamming back tequila shots — no one would do it long enough to get to the not-fun-anymore stage. The not-fun part is when you really don’t want to play this game any more, but you keep doing it anyway.

For men, the flip might manifest after years of happy-ending massages, phone sex hotlines and internet porn, when the unfaithful husband finds himself paying some stripper’s utility bills and following her from work, only to end up parked outside her boyfriend’s house in a tearful rage. The sex addict becomes the love addict, as desperate to be someone’s knight in shining armor as someone else is to find one.

Just as both the binge-eater and the anorexic suffer from an eating disorder, both the love addict and the love avoidant suffer from a relationship disorder. The love addict craves affection; no amount will ever be enough. The sex addict craves stimulation; no amount will ever be enough. Both are trying to feel, to connect to something… but the mechanism of connection is stunted, or twisted, or broken entirely.

Can those connections be healed? I think yes. Neuroscientists are investigating how genetics may have short-circuited those connectors. Therapists explore looks at the way early childhood experience may have warped them. Philosophy looks at the need for a wider connectivity altogether. The first step, as with all addictions, is to stop using.

It’s like the joke about the man who goes to the doctor, raising his arm over his head and complaining, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.” The doctor raises his own arm over his head: “So don’t do this,” he shrugs.

“The more one’s partner was likely to fall asleep after sex, the stronger the desire for bonding,” researcher Daniel Kruger of the University of Michigan said in a press release.

The researchers noted that period of time after sex can be important for couples to bond and establish their commitment to each other.

Their study, published in the December issue of the Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, examined the responses of more than 450 online survey participants. The participants were asked a number of questions about their relationships, including, who falls asleep first after sex, and about their expressions of bonding, affection and communication.

The researchers found women rated sleeping with their partner after sex as more important than men did, and that women tended to be the ones to initiate sharing some shut-eye.

“Sleeping together may be an anti-philandering strategy that reduces the likelihood of abandonment,” the researchers said.

They also suggested that falling asleep before one’s partner could be a “non-conscious mechanism” to stave off any conversations about commitment after sex. In other words, it could shield you from seeing your partner in a negative light.

“If men actively avoid commitment promises in post-coital conversation, this could increase the likelihood of women ending the relationship due to perceptions of undesirable partner characteristics and/or uncertainty about the future of the relationship,” the researchers wrote. “Hastening sleep onset may evade this adverse effect.”